The Positivity Struggle

Is anyone else tired of people telling them to think positive or have a positive mindset during all of this?? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say I wasn’t really the most positive person before quarantine happened….SO I wasn’t just going to become a Disney princess while being on lockdown with my 2 year old ALL day EVERY day you feel me?

I spend most of my days in an internal battle with myself of whether to take on the world with a cleaning routine, work my side hustle, become a top chef with all my new Joanna Gaines cookbooks, and get active…. or to allow myself a Netflix & chill day ( I know I know non 30 year olds have a different meaning for this) and let my kid sit on her IPAD with Daniel Tiger songs on repeat, while I drink all the coffee and we stay in our pajamas.

It’s hard and I’m struggling daily. I miss the fricken gym so much. Okay maybe not the actual working out…but I miss my gym friends and the childcare. Oh my gosh the glorious childcare. You’ll never know the true power of an hour to workout yourself with your friends unless it is snatched away from you with 0 warning. Sure I am working out at home, but trust me when you have to use nap time to do so, so a toddler isn’t hanging on your leg the entire time it is not nearly as satisfying…that’s my lifetime movie watching/snack time. I miss MOPS group and all my amazing mom friends (PS there is childcare there too). Do you sense a pattern in all of the things I miss?? Really i’m just a SAHM asking someone to please take my toddler for ONE DAY! I kid I kid….but not really, nope. I have been a SAHM since last June and that term is totally deceiving because we very rarely “stayed home.” We always had lots of stuff going on. The extrovert in me always made sure our schedule was full of bustling activities….and I am 100 percent mourning them. I don’t know how to stay home….ironic coming from a SAHM.

Insert some sweet image of a mom hugging her child saying everything I need is right at home across my Facebook feed (I GET IT) i’m complaining. (I warned you about my lack of positivity). My husband is an “essential worker” but really who isn’t in the state of Arizona (that’s a problem for a different day). I sanitize the crap out of everything, make him change in the garage, and shower right away. So there is also the stress of that. I miss grocery shopping, such an odd thing to miss. I HATED grocery shopping before all of this, but my husband has been going because he is already “exposed” if you will for being “essential”. Im just full of quotation marks today because I just don’t even know the true meaning of all of these words in my head anymore- also quick side note…does anyone else want to scratch their eyes out as they watch the Corona Virus task force?? I quit…I now read the cliff-notes version from every person on my neighborhood page who now thinks they are experts on infectious diseases.

This has basically become word vomit (Thanks Mean Girls)…but I don’t see friends anymore so I have to get it out somewhere! My husband and I argue over bedtime with our toddler EVERY night because no one I mean no one wants to deal with 2 year old bedtime. I will pay someone to come over every night and put my kid to bed. I’m done making deals, going through every color on her Hatch sound machine before she finds the “better” one or not having the right blanket. I am sure there are parenting techniques for this too….I just don’t want them. Survival mode. I’ll save that for a day when I am ready to take on the world…. and 10 pm on a Wednesday night when The Masked Singer decided to give us a recycled sing-a-long instead of a new episode is NOT the night (anyone else think that is crap??).

I am just here to say hang in there. If all you ate was bread, cookies, and fruity pebbles cereal today that’s okay! (speaking purely hypothetically of course)…. I hope the end is near, and trust me that I know I could have it a LOT worse. I am very grateful for my husband’s job to not be affected by this, so please do not take this post that way. I am just a tired extroverted mom who misses people and activities, and I highly doubt that anyone locked at home with a toddler is coping THAT well…and if they appear to be…it’s a lie. If you are looking for a super upbeat, WE WILL BEAT THIS post follow me on one of my take on the world days. But until then…i’m here for you and enjoy virtual happy hours.

If you haven’t checked out the house party app- download it. It has provided a lot of laughs for my family during this hard time. Also get yourself a bottle of Malibu and a case of white claws because those help too!

I would love to know how you are all feeling about everything. No need to hold back, I didn’t! Leave me some comments below!

Published by thecatchallmama

Hi There! My name is Samantha Thurber. I am a former elementary teacher turned SAHM managing all of life's imperfections.

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